Fear

 Apa yang aku takuti when im facing the 4 series is ‘am i useless?’

my washing machine is broken . so i really want to buy a new one. but i dont have that kind of money. that the emergency money if anything happen. 

tapi boleh je nak mintak dengan funder. but i just dont want to.

am i useless?

then i see a pile of project files on my table. i did make that paperworks before. i did make almost a million . but now i dont know what happen. everything is flop. i just cant do it anymore. why. 

Ya Allah please show the right path for me. berilah satu rasa keberanian and do it all again.

Tersuka tanpa sengaja

 this year i started my 4 series with syndrome of sakit kaki. 

At the very early 2026, like 5 days the new year had been started my kaki suddenly hurt. I cant walk. I jadi paranoid. pasal back 2017, I pernah kena sampuk dekat site and I cannot walk for about 10 days . 

I did go see doctor and she said that I might have piriformis syndrome. I cannot stand for too long and I cannot sit for too long too. and I was in my the heaviest weight era 95kgs!  Even the doctor said , this syndrome is not a weight related, but I believed it was!

so I diet. I did lose weight, tapi lambat la, and my sister suggested. “Pergilah ambik mounjaro shot” tapi mahal la weh. I ni hidup kais bulan, makan bulan. I dont have extras! tapi kakak I sponsored. soo why not.

so I take mounjaro shots with this doctor. hes a soft spoken person. ofcourse lah I melted.  We meet every week. so every week he notice me, “ eh dah kecik dah muka, eh dah kurus dah’ . Tapi tu la dia kan doc. mestilah dia cakap lembut2 kan. macam mana ni babe? macam mana ni. 

dia punya effect ke’soft’ spoken nya macam mounjaro jugak, 3 hari pertama kita akan bloated. hmm 3 hari lepas jumpa , aku akan angau, masuk hari ke 4, aku akan okay sampailah hari ke 7, and lepas tu jumpa balik. angau balik. aiyooo macam mana ni babeeeeee. cepatlah kurus, cepatlah berat 75kg.  I taknak ambik dah shot ni. tak payah teringat2 dah.

Ni lah padahnya bile dah lama tak jumpa orang baru. Bile jumpa orang baru terus cin lok. apo?. tapi hari tu dia dah ‘sister-zoned kan aku. dengan meng’sis’ kan aku. tersedar lah jugak aku seketika. tiber.

kenapa tak ngorat je doktor tu?

hes soft spoken pasal dia soft spoken. dia cakap lembut dengan semua orang.

wehhh hes 33 tau. I cant ruin his masa depan untuk mengahwini gen Z. weh Sis Kay ko dah kenapa cite hal kahwin. . btw  7 years age gap is huge. 

hmmm

My Liberation Note

 ASSALAMUALAIKUM welcome to my new blog. Haha ade lagi ke orang blog sekarang? Well who cares. Here I am going to share my thoughts about life. No I just want to flush out whats on my mind. As i am getting older, or as you getting older, or as we getting older, thats are so much thoughts in mind sampai rasa tepu but dont know how to get them out. this blog going to be rojak. alah khairul Aming pon ade 2 accounts. so yaah,

So, thats why im here. kan tulis kat fb, orang tak comment rasa macam bercakap seorang diri, kalau kat  thread takut blow up, tulis kat X like kalau kite tulis time tu, orang tidur and people think i didnt sleep pulak padahal takde orang follow pon kat X. SEEEEEEE  at this age, banyak sangat kite fikir apa yang orang fikir. this may trigger the tepuness in mind.

so hi. im going to write everything here. i dont care cite tu berulang ke. i just want to write. i believe there are readers here. that read my blogs dari zaman dahulu kala, or else google me, or google mende lain keluar blog ni. bacalah.